Fail Friday: San Francisco’s Soda Ban

It’s Fail Friday and there’s no better way to start the weekend than by taking a look at this weeks epitome of fail with Allan Gungormez, a man fluent in sarcasm and a day to day observer of life lameness.

The Mayor of San Francisco, Gavin Newsom, had his executive order to remove soda from public vending machines finally take place this week. It’s his way of making sure the city of San Francisco doesn’t become fat slobs gulping Coca Cola and 7-Up by the gallon. Rather than having syrupy goodness grace the vending machines, citizens will soon be greeted by soy milk, rice milk, certain diet sodas, and drinks that are comprised of 100% juice.

Can I be the first person to say that that is retarded? Many of us out there who actually look at calories and fat content will tell you, it’s not going to make a difference. While I know I myself have no credibility when it comes to that, I feel as if the quote below carries slightly more weight than I do.

“By replacing sodas with soy milk or milk or juices you give people more calcium and nutrients,” U.C. San Francisco critical care nutritionist Irma Ishkanian told the San Francisco Weekly.

“But as far as obesity, if you have two cans or bottles of juice, you’re still having just as many or more calories. It’s not really helping with obesity.”

They take away our delicious tasting soda that would make us fat, and replace it with depressing “healthy” beverages that will also make us fat? I think that someone needed to do a little bit more research into the issue before making the change. It’s easy to point the finger at soda as the culprit; everything that tastes really good makes you fat. My prediction is that the milk goes bad before people buy it and guys with trench coats lined with six packs of soda will start to profit by looming nearby public vending machines. The only thing that I want to see in vending machines are water, sodas, iPods, and fragrances. Keep the dairy on the shelves at the market or inside the cows.