Panties & Porkchops: Twitter Ruins Sexual Relationships

Panties & Porkchops follows the life of Keri Lathan, a chick who doesn’t mind documenting her obsession with sexual taboos and the midnight snacking that ensues.

I think it’s pretty safe to assume that everyone (including) their mother is on Twitter nowadays. Whether you’re tweeting about the walk of shame you had to endure the night before or endlessly retweeting Rev Run, Twitter is a significant part of our lives. We meet new people and block creepers all in the same breath. So what happens when you’re really into someone and you mutually follow each other on Twitter?

My new boy obsession is following me on Twitter and so far it has been pretty stress free. He reads all my awesome tweets about getting drunk on a weeknight and I @reply him when he quotes obscure rap songs. So how did we get to a place where we use Twitter to send passive aggressive digs about one another? Or why do we NOT call each other until we see a tweet from the other person? All these psycho maneuvers is reminding me of a very infamous duo that let Twitter ruin their “relationship”: Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson.

Case in point: today my boy obsession tweeted about his love of girls that cater to their men. I tweeted about how I love guys that don’t play games. I mean, this guy WAITS for ME to text/call him first which I think is very Dawson of Dawson’s Creek of him. Get over yourself dude, last time I checked, you’re not a heartthrob.

So the band plays on.

One dig after another, all in front of the watchful eyes of our mutual followers.

I think I have to put an end to it. Some great sex in the back of a Saab isn’t worth this much tech drama. Besides, I think it’s ruining my rep (yes that does sound very douchey). To be quite honest, I’m getting a little embarrassed about the fact that all my followers can see this transpire. I pride myself on being a carefree gal that doesn’t let some odd guy dictate how she should feel about herself. Before we turn into Lindsay and Sam in which we badmouth each other on Twitter while locking ourselves up in our Hollywood homes, I will choose to unfollow him in real life and on Twitter. Trust me, it’s for the best.