What a Bust

In what is now officially the biggest bust ever in the NFL draft, the Oakland Raiders have released quarterback Jamarcus Russell.  After being paid $36mil for three very disappointing and unproductive seasons, the team issued Jamarcus his walking papers, but still owe him an additional $3mil next season.  To add a little perspective, Drew Brees of the Superbowl champion New Orleans Saints had better total numbers last season than Russell did in all of his starts combined over the course of his three year career.

We’ve heard stories of this dude just plain not getting it.  Well, he got his money, but he didn’t get exactly what got him the money in the first place, that is: playing the position of quarterback.  He would miss meetings, skip tutelage by coaches and straight up get up during film sessions and never come back.  He ate like a hog and didn’t care to get back into shape.  The guy had a big arm coming out of college, but in the pros he got a big gut, big chin and a big head.  Too bad he was way better at rocking a Coogi sweater looking like he came straight out of one of Da Brat’s videos than he was in a black and silver jersey throwing around the old pigskin.  Ryan Leaf, you’re off the hook!

Hey, Raiders.  We know you just signed Jason Campbell, and that’s a big reason why Jamarcus got sent packing, but we suggest you do a little more recruiting out east, namely in the city of brotherly love.  No no, McNabb already signed with the Redskins, but you already know that.  No, think back further, to 2008.  Remember the Phillies winning the World Series?  Okay, we’re not talking about a baseball player.  Think of the celebration.  Think of the drunk fan who climbed on top of the traffic signal on Broad St.  Okay, not him.  There was a guy with a rocket arm with amazing precision that obliterated drunk signal guy with a dead-on kill shot with a vodka bottle.  That’s right, a vodka bottle straight to the dome.  We guarantee you that Jamarcus couldn’t bust that out if you asked him to at the combine.  Need a little refresher?  Peep the video below and listen for the college baseball type “ping!” sound as the bottle reaches its target with all of its embarrasing celebration glory.

Now, search for that guy.  When you find him, sign him.  Give him the extra $6.25mil you saved by cutting Jamarcus this year.  And when you win the Superbowl with him at quarterback, keep your helmets on during the craziness afterward.  Safety first.

[via ESPN]